Exit, Pursued by a Bear

It’s not from the Onion -

It’s from the American Dental Association’s Web site, of all places -

70-year-old oral surgeon heeds Army's call to duty
By Craig Palmer
Satellite Beach, Fla. — Dr. John J. Caulfield was incredulous about the Army's "unsolicited communication" inviting his return to active duty toward easing increasing wartime demands on military medical treatment facilities.

… Dr. Caulfield sees himself as "a kind of fatalist" and Afghanistan as "moderately busy for my specialty." He invokes harsher descriptions for the requisite reconstruction of professional and military careers just to get the assignment. "Getting reactivated is a complicated, time consuming, frustrating and, yes, somewhat demeaning process," he said.

What it meant was "vetting" the past by running down all the transcripts, personal recommendations and documentation from high school, college, professional school, internship, residency, licensure boards, hospitals with privilege, professional liability history and appointments "from everywhere I had ever practiced or been licensed." That meant affirmation from a classmate at a high school that no longer exists who said upon their reacquaintance, "John, I heard you were dead."

… Dr. Caulfield, father of four, grandfather of eight, figures he's in "reasonable good health with the exception of meds for hypertension, acid reflux and a little osteoarthritis," and good to go. But he wonders if the Army Medical Service isn't "stretched thin" in having to reach for retired oral surgeons, ophthalmologists, psychiatrists, nurse anesthetists and other specialists for combat duty.

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